Over the years, one of my clients’ frequent struggles with weight loss is the concept of a number on a scale. Unfortunately in our society we have been taught that this number means something, when really it is a function of gravity (when you come right down to it). While there are some considerations that need to be taken when you’re dealing with obese people, for those who are within a healthy body weight range the idea of how much they weigh can still be an obsession, and not a healthy one.
I can’t count the amount of times I’ve heard “I just need to lose another five pounds.” No you don’t – you need to get into a smaller pant size or you want to look better at the beach. Or there’s another fundamental reason that you want to be thinner, smaller or have visible abdominals. I want to be more attractive. I want to have people pay more attention to me. Or, on the flipside they want to stop the negative thoughts they have running through their heads constantly about themselves..
The weight on the scale actually has little to do with it. When I’m judging fitness competitors, do you think weight has anything to do with it? One person who is the same height could weigh ten pounds more – and actually look a lot better. I have many friends who are high level performance athletes who don’t think twice about what a scale says – it’s all about how they can do the things they need to do in order to win a race or lift what they need to lift. Runners aren’t classified by weight, they are classified by speed. Fitness models and bikini girls are based on height. Even different clothing manufacturers have different sizes based on demand – you can be a size 4 in one store and a size 8 in another.
Your body changes day to day and month to month. This is a good thing, and it is based on how you move, what you put into it and even how much stress you allow yourself to experience. The good news is that these are all things you can affect easily if you simply make a decision to do so.
So my main point to people who obsess about a number on a scale is simply this: do you walk around with that tattooed on your forehead? Of course, the answer is no. And even if you did, do you really think that the people who care about you would judge you based on that number? I can only imagine a horrible society where if you drifted into the upper range of BMI you would be labelled with a red flag and your coworkers, friends and family would shun you because you are a horrible person. Some people seem to think this is going to happen to them.
This just doesn’t happen. Fundamentally, the only person that really cares about how much you weigh – is you. And you’re insecure about it because at some point in your life you decided that words from someone else or a number on a scale meant more than feeling good about yourself. Or you think that by dropping that number you’re going to look better to yourself and other people. Here’s a news flash – they don’t care. Or at least they shouldn’t, and if they do then you’re probably hanging out with the wrong people.
Your conversation with yourself about that is usually based on what you have been told by other people, some of whom are too stupid to realize that when you were a kid or an adult or they were supposed to care about you they were actually beating you down. I have a very blunt way of dealing with that: forget them. You should always be trying to improve, but in my opinion it should be for your own reasons, not one that another person gave you.
Too much today we focus on what other people think, and in a book by Dale Carnegie I read many years ago he summed it up best: Why are you letting other people decide how you are going to feel? Let’s be happy with who we are and what we have before we allow any type of words (which mean nothing) to affect our daily lives and how we feel about ourselves.
Let’s focus on the right things:
Feeling better every day.
Performing better every day.
Maybe looking better (for yourself, not someone else).
Come from a place of support for yourself.
Every day try to make yourself and the world around you a little bit better.
If you feel like it, take a picture of your scale weight and post it on your forehead for the world to see. Maybe we will start a trend so people will figure out how silly it is that they are defining themselves by a number.
The fundamental truth about changing anything in your life is that it takes time and effort. I have talked about this many times before and constantly have to talk people down from expecting things to change overnight. In our society we are used to getting things right away, whether it be email, text messages, fast food, even watching a movie can be done instantly online thanks to modern technology. We forget about the fact that advancing a career, learning, growing a family and relationships take time and effort, like anything in life.
But in our society people rush into relationships and when they aren’t instantly happy they get divorced because it is easy. We take up workout programs and diets over and over again because they are really easy to start – but somewhere along the way we lose momentum because we expect this massive change within a short period of time and when it doesn’t happen, instead of continuing for some reason we just stop. We consume crappy things because it makes us feel good for the moment, but then the negative things that happen afterwards just stall our progress.
By just continuing on the path, even if the results don’t happen as fast as you like you’re going to be far better off over time than if you stop and start something different. Ours is a society where we don’t finish what we start. We give up way too easily. We needlessly over-complicate things like health and nutrition and exercise when most tried and true methods are always accomplished given enough time and effort.
So as a message to take away for today, remember that even making one simple change – today – can fundamentally alter the way that your future unfolds before you. Today you always have a choice as to what you want to do, eat, drink, how you want to sleep, what you want to accomplish. The world is in front of you, but we as humans always allow what is behind us to guide our path rather than just moving forward. Once you realize that each day doesn’t have to be affected by what you did the day before it can be a very liberating feeling. Just because you have missed 5 days of working out doesn’t mean that you have to – today. Just because you ate a pint of ice cream last night because you were feeling depressed doesn’t mean you have to do it again – today. You skipped yoga yesterday, but you can find another class to go to – today.
Our lives have an immense duration. Who you were five years ago isn’t who you are now and who you are now isn’t going to be anywhere close to who you are five years from now. You might have a different job, city, partner, spouse, and this can all be guided by making that one simple choice and then doing it consistently over time. Remember, even the Grand Canyon started as a little stream at some point. But it had to start. And all of us can start whatever we want to – today.
So say it out loud – “I am going to do (whatever you want to get done) today.” Make a choice and move forward. That’s the only way to possibly change over time.
If you’re looking for a good book, I recommend The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson. It’s what inspired this post and is an easy read. I hope you enjoy it.
Nutrition is obviously a hot topic these days, with everyone touting gluten free this and sugar free that. Basically if you read enough on the internet, everything is going to kill you. Here’s a bit of a hint – everything IS going to kill you eventually. Really what you want to focus on is staving off the effects for as long as you possibly can and not letting yourself develop a chronic degenerative disease that might make it happen sooner. My grandmother recently turned 100 years old, and still puts salt on things, eats butter and has two sugar cubes in her instant decaf coffee every day plus a hit of sherry once in a while. I also share a Coke with her once a year. She also lives an incredibly stress free lifestyle, which I think is one of the major contributors to degenerative disease today – but I digress.
While at the store this morning I thought I might post about exactly what I shop for and why, and hope that it might give you some insight into what a “fitness person” eats. So here’s what was in my grocery cart this morning, which is pretty typical of 90% of our food intake:
Apples Tomatoes Bananas Cheese
Grapes Cucumber Green Beans Whole Wheat Wraps
Broccoli Strawberries Kale Lactose Free Milk
Greek Yogurt Brussels Sprouts Oranges Brown Rice
Peppers Sweet Potatoes Peppermint Tea
Tofu (we feed this to our daughter for fat and protein – and she loves it – yes, I know about soy)
Cheerios (my daughter also loves these as a treat but I eat them too for breakfast sometimes)
Total Cost: $53 (at our local FreshCo) for enough to cover us for about four to five days. We typically spend about $80 per week on groceries.
We get our meat from a local butcher because it is better quality – I rarely buy meat from the grocery store unless they are having a big sale on something in bulk. Most of our meat is fish and chicken, but I also buy ground beef and sometimes a roast for convenience. Once a week we do a slow cooker meal which covers us for 3-4 meals so it is easy for my wife to simply reheat if I am working late.
You might notice that there’s nothing from a box or that’s frozen. This isn’t always the case – we buy frozen fish because it is cheaper and my butcher doesn’t carry it and we buy frozen peas because they are convenient and cheaper as well. We don’t drink pop, or any juice. I drink coffee that I sometimes make at home but I typically buy one from Tim Horton’s 5 days a week when I’m on my way to work. I put cream and sugar in it because it tastes better that way. If I want a snack I’ll eat fruit, yogurt or banana chips from Bulk Barn since I’m allergic to nuts and can’t eat those. My post long run recovery drink is chocolate milk and sometimes my wife puts it in her coffee at home.
Here’s another shocker – I don’t take supplements. No protein shakes, no BCAA’s, nothing beyond a simple Vitamin C to help reduce the risk of illness. I found through trial and error that protein powders don’t make my system happy and the added juice and sugar add up to a ton as well. Not that this is necessary, but I made a decision a while ago to basically cut back on anything artificial or that has chemicals in it, which any protein powder does. And you can tell me until you’re blue in the face how yours comes from 100% natural ingredients, but the truth is, your powder still got made in a factory with 20 others that are simply boxed and shipped to other companies and there are still fillers and additives in it. So basically I get 80% of my nutrition from real food, and the other 20% is the occasional 1-2 times a week I grab something when I’m out. About once every other week my wife and I order in Thai food like normal people. I follow the 80/20 rule – if you do the right thing 80% of the time it likely makes up for the 20% that you don’t.
I also have a ten month old at home – we feed her pretty much the same stuff that we eat at this point because she loves to feed herself and imitate Mom and Dad. She loves beans, broccoli, cauliflower, peas, tofu, brown rice pasta, and especially strawberries. For breakfast we often make her toast with almond butter and she loves it. She has been exposed to pretty much everything (all fish, nuts, major allergens except for honey) and has no food allergies. She doesn’t like too much animal protein because of the texture at this stage, but she will eat fish and chicken if we hide it or if she’s hungry enough.
So there you have it – the grocery and eating habits of a not perfect personal trainer and a regular human being. I know that nutrition is a personal choice for many people so if you want to comment, that’s fine – I just might not listen. I’ve spoken about nutrition before, and lots of people either over complicate it or simply don’t manage their time well. They hit the snooze button 3 times and skip breakfast. They don’t bother making lunch at home and spend hundreds a month eating out – which also leads to unhealthy choices. Instead of whipping something up that’s healthy and easy at home (which you can easily do in 15 minutes) they stop and pick up something packaged or fast food. Always remember – this is a choice. If you choose to do that, then fine, but don’t complain about it. It is really easy to make a simple change and manage your life and time better so you can live longer and feel better. If you’re going to make a change, don’t make it for 6 weeks or a “90 day challenge” – make it for the rest of your life and commit already.
I hope it helped – feel free to comment, subscribe and share!